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Do you struggle with perfectionism? Because I do, and it stops me from focusing on the most important areas of my life, like health and wellness. We’re all living our own versions of reality, and it is up to you to seek Holy Spirit’s guidance on the things you need to prioritize to live an intentional life.
In this episode, we talk about perfectionism and how it keeps you stuck and compromising what is truly important in your life. We explain the five action steps that you can take today that will contribute to both your physical and spiritual wellbeing.
Listen in to learn why a journey of progress filled with love and forgiveness pleases God more than a perfect guilt-filled one.
What you will learn:
Hi, Beloved. Welcome back to episode number seven. I’m so excited to be here with you today. I want to talk about something that I’ve struggled with with myself for several years. I’ve been kind of in and out of this pattern of thinking, and I’ve kind of realized recently this is something that had kept me very stuck and tries to keep me stuck. So what I want to talk about is perfection and how perfection is keeping you stuck. And then I want to go through five action steps. You can take to get things flowing again. So let’s get started!
First of all, let’s just admit right here and right now that everyone is living their own version of reality. For me, I run a business from home. I’m responsible for managing an organization and a Facebook group and getting information out in a timely manner. And then obviously growing my business, right? So that’s kind of a box I have for my life. I also have a box for homeschooling in my mind, right? These boxes are just like in my brain, all these things I’m thinking about. I homeschool our six year old. She’ll be seven in January, and then we have a three-year-old and they do go to childcare. We have a private in-home care provider who’s amazing. And they go there three days a week, but then I have my husband working from home and I have two teenagers at home on those days at my Little’s are at daycare.
And so being blessed by having a business that has a residual income and allows me time and space in my schedule to either serve my older girls, because we don’t get to really sit down and have conversations with them very often, I take advantage of those opportunities. I think, “you know what? God has blessed me with this business for a reason. And it’s okay for me to step away.” And in that Holy spirit prompting moment that is saying spend time with your teenage daughter right now, she’s sitting there right across the table from you. I’m not going to go run in my office and start working when she’s actually talking to me and have a conversation with me. And the same thing might come up with my husband, where with the littles around, you know, they kind of demand a lot of attention and need a lot of focus and affirmation at this age. And I’ll get that time with my husband during the day, right when I’m “supposed” to be working. And so I have to remember that Holy Spirit gets to hijack my schedule. He gets to hijack my to-do list of what I had on task for that day. And at the same time, I also have to realize, that when I go to sit down and complete those tasks, nobody’s going to come in really and do them for me when I sit down and actually do it. I’m like, Oh, I get these thoughts coming into my mind of “I’m overwhelmed. I’m behind. I have so much to do” this creates overwhelm. And because I want to do things perfectly, I want to be able to check everything off my list that I had on for that day. And I didn’t get to do that.
That perfection is keeping me stuck. And so I’ll compromise in other areas of my life. I might stay up later and compromise my sleep. I might skip a workout and say, “I don’t have time for that.” I might eat quick processed foods and just go grab something from the kitchen versus actually preparing myself a whole food nourishing meal and sitting down and eating slowly and enjoying it. Everything comes at a cost, right? We have these trade-offs. And so I always have to remind myself that I, first of all, with my business, I do my business with grace and love and at a pace that honors the growth of my family. That is my core value. And when that happens, I can’t let these thoughts of overwhelm or failure consume me because I was trying to be perfect at it.
And so back to kind of everyone’s living in their own version of reality. We all have different things on our plates, on our schedules, different things that we manage and different areas of our life that maybe get more or less time than we want it to. Looking at that, I have these different areas in my mind that I try to keep front and center. One is my spirituality. Of course, my relationship with God and just kind of growing in the way that he wants me to grow. There’s also self care and time balance. So am I spending more time doing things that I don’t want to be doing that don’t bring me joy that aren’t in my wheelhouse, I guess, for my strengths or my zone of genius, that don’t allow me to be creative? What am I doing or spending time in that is draining or exhausting my energy? I have to look at, can I either eliminate that activity or can I delegate it or can I just completely outsource it to someone else, or can I automate it?
We have some options there in that category, but another one is finances. And then another is creativity, emotions, health and wellness, which kind of goes in line with self-care, but it’s a little bit different, my relationships, my social life. And so all of these different categories, we, I get to think about, you know, what would I have to be thinking to be able to align myself in these areas? The way that I want them to be? What does my ideal perfect day, perfect life, not perfect, but what is my ideal day, my ideal life look like. What do I want it to look like? And am I being intentional in those areas enough to create what I want? I don’t have to feel bad for not being where I want to be, but I can also at the same time, look at, “am I maybe doing that is not working in these areas?” And how is that affecting my reality?
Negative habits affect our results and negative habits affect our connection with God. I want to kind of talk to the area of health and wellness. We probably have a lot of mom guilt. I know I do. Sometimes when I choose to take care of myself, physically, I want to share with you that there’s all these different realms in our lives, but that doesn’t mean that we can choose to neglect something at the cost of something else ALL of the time. We’re going to be dipping into these different areas at a different level, but there are some basic core things that if you neglect on a regular basis, it’s going to make you feel stuck. For me, it’s been my weight and my health, because those are the first things that I choose to not do or take care of at the expense of other things on my list. And I always regret it. I’m still practicing this. Please don’t think for a second, that I’ve arrived in this area, but recognizing some limiting beliefs, negative self-talk and some negative habits that have affected me in these areas and keep me in this cycle of feeling like I’m not making progress. One of those is perfection. You can still make imperfect progress and move forward.
I was studying in Philippians the other day and reading chapter three. And I want to expand on this idea, that there’s value in knowing Christ. So these Jewish Christians, they were still believing that they needed to follow the law in order to be saved. And Paul is describing how worthless his credentials were, his accolades, his successes for his salvation. How he once thought these things were valuable, you know, following the law to perfection, being circumcised, being a pure blooded citizen of Israel, a member of the Benjamin tribe, “a real Hebrew,” he said. And he just kind of boiled it down to the fact that human efforts and achievements, no matter how impressive cannot earn a person salvation and eternal life with God – it’s based on God’s grace and Jesus’ finished work on the cross.
There’s really nothing that we can do, right? What believers do, as far as their actions, is a result of their faith not a prerequisite to their faith. So pressing towards that goal, that “perfect progress” comes as a result of pressing on, towards complete perfection, which won’t happen until the day Christ returns. This is the one thing. Paul’s like, I’m going to focus on one thing. I’m going to focus on forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead and holding on to the progress I’ve already made. So why hearing this is because I just kind of realized, and I had this aha moment as I was studying this there’s this tension of living between where I have been and where I want to be. And I have to let go of any guilt or shame and trade that in for forgiveness and faith and obedience in order to move on to the life that I want to create and putting my hope and faith in the fullness of life in Christ.
If I focus my energy on the past, that’s only going to drain me and exhaust me. If I’m focusing on what I didn’t accomplish that day or what I ate that day that I didn’t want to eat, or that I skipped my workout, I’m only draining myself and I’m focusing on the past and not looking forward, right? Again, the one thing that Paul says to focus on is forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead and holding onto the progress that he’s already made. So focusing my perspective and my priorities and my source of power on my partnership with God and Jesus and the Holy spirit and what I can do in their strength, knowing that there’s grace for me in whatever season I have. Maybe I’ve been overindulging in sugar. Maybe I’ve been a little more sedentary than I wanted to be. These are not necessarily a nail in my coffin, right there. Just something that I can be like, okay, I’m not going to dwell on that. I’m not going to feel guilty about that. I’m not going to feel shameful about that because shame and embarrassment, number one are going to try and keep you silent. They’re going to tell you, it’s going to say, don’t tell your husband, your coworkers, your business, you know, employees, whatever. Don’t, tell. And don’t share that you’re struggling basically, which can be sabotaging, right? It can be non-productive negative habits that affect our connection, not only with ourselves, but they affect our connection with others.
I want to give you five action steps that you can take in this area specifically, if you’re struggling like me with your nutrition and weight and just kind of moving and taking care of yourself. So that area of health and wellness. These areas open up the airways so to speak in the spiritual, they open up the dam and get things flowing again in the spirit. And so the first one is green smoothies. If I’m running late or if I’m running out of time, or I believe in the lie that I “don’t have time” to make myself something nutritious, green smoothies have been an awesome go-to because I can get so much dense nutrition packed into one thing that I don’t have to think about food. I don’t have to waste energy trying to figure out what I’m going to eat. It’s just very simple. And it’s kind of my default go-to when I’m feeling overwhelmed with choices. Maybe there’s so much going on that I think I can’t make myself anything healthy right now. I don’t even have to think about it because I have this green smoothie recipe on my fridge. And so I’ll post that recipe in the blog notes. You can go check out that recipe. It’s very yummy. You can add a little bit of extra stevia if you’d like, if you think it’s not sweet enough for you, if you’re used to having sweet, it’s very flexible. And my kids love making this with me. This is kind of the other thing too, is they love it. And they’re helping me put the greens in and the apples and the bananas. And it’s just so much fun to do that with them.
Number two is a protein shake. This is another one that I don’t have to think about. It’s something I can take on the go. Let’s say I’m dropping the girls off at daycare, and it’s a little bit warmer out, I can put my hiking shoes on my jacket, my hat and my gloves, and I can take this protein shake with me. So I’ve gotten physical, I’ve gotten good nutrition. And, and for me, it’s just a very simple protein base. And so you can use, if you don’t want to do a dairy or whey protein based, you can do a vegan kind of whole meal shake replacement. I’ll drop some options in the blog. You can do a paleo base like a beef or egg based protein. So you want to have a source of a protein powder in there. And I prefer chocolate, of course. And then I do a scoop of my favorite fruit and greens mix. It’s called dynamic greens. And I’ll put a link in there as well. And I get that in chocolate, but they have other flavors. They have strawberry Kiwi, which we’ll do, we’ll do a strawberry one sometimes for the kids. They have a mint one, which makes like a cool Shamrock shake, the girls like that. And so I have my protein powder, I have my greens powder and then sometimes I’ll do a detox powder that just kind of helps add that extra fiber and flushing to my shake. And so I do that with unsweetened almond milk. I do a one-to-one ratio of almond milk to water. And I put that in my little shaker cup. I shake it up and I take it with me on the go.
Number three is water. You know, in scripture it says the living water flows from his belly, right? And so living water, I just always think of that. Like water is life. You are 75% water. When you’re born, you’re 75% water, but it goes down as you age. And, you know, water is kind of the source that connects everything in life. And so water is so super important. I like to add pure, essential oils to my water, to help with a little bit of cleansing. You can purchase alkaline water. And so just making sure you’re getting enough water can make such a difference in your day-to-day life and get things flowing. A lot of times, like you might even experience this with your kids, but maybe you’re experiencing with yourself that you’re not going on a regular basis, right? Like you’re not pooping. So getting things flowing and getting that extra waste out of your body is going to make you feel so much better. It’s going to open things up kind of open that dam, so to speak and get things flowing again in the physical, but also in the spiritual.
Number four, to open up the dam and just kind of get things flowing again is movement. So I mentioned that I will go hiking or walking. We really connect with God in nature. For me personally, I’ve actually had God kind of drop into my spirit as I’m driving and be like, pull over and go for a hike with me. And so when I do that, I know that he’s going to bless me on that. I’ve had so many ideas for things, programs, solutions to problems and just kind of loving stuff that heal or pour into me as I’m walking with him in nature. I love it. You can put your headphones in and, you know, have worship music playing, but just moving your body. It doesn’t have to be a crazy workout, just moving your body and paying attention and listening. I like to have my phone app open when for me to take notes so that I can look at those later. And so I get a lot of insights, revelations, answers, connection when I am walking in nature with God.
All right, number five, this is the last one – is worshiping to music and singing. This was something that there’s a book that I recently read and it’s called children the supernatural. And I think it’s by Jennifer Toledo. I’m not sure if I’m seeing her name, right. I’ll link it in the show notes in the blog. I read that book cover to cover in about two days. It gives you a different way to look at interacting with the Father, because it’s all about how God is talking to children and then the children go out and they share those messages with the other people that God told them to share it with. Like the exact people, you know, find someone with tattoos and say, God loves you and your tattoos.
And so he’ll give them a message for a specific person. And they go out on kind of ministry trips to either Walmart or the park or wherever they’re feeling led to go. And they have specific cards and messages and words for people that they know that they’re going to meet, because God told them that person was going to be there. And the other day I saw someone post something about a child that God actually told the angels to be quiet, worshiping him because he wanted to hear his sons and daughters singing and worshiping to him. And so he loves it when we sing and worship. And it’s one of my favorite things to do as well. It’s one, I have a God’s playlist. When I hear when God speak is actually what I called it. And I can link that up in the show notes too, if you want to listen to it on Spotify, but it is something that makes me feel connected. It’s something I need to do. In fact, when my family basically all came home at once from, since COVID, it’s been a challenge for me to do that in my home, because I just that’s one of the main ways I connect. And so whether I’m cooking in the kitchen or I don’t know, just standing, usually it’s in my kitchen, but it’s standing or kneeling and just singing and worshiping and praising. So I’ve been getting a lot of that in in my car, I do it with my littles, but my teenagers are kind of like, “Oh my gosh, mom,” but it’s, that is something that is going to open up the airways, open the dam and get things flowing again for you in the natural and in the spiritual.
So the first four will help you physically move things in your system, like your bowels, your kidneys, your liver, your lungs, your blood, that was the green smoothie, the protein shake, the water and the movement. But the last one is more like a biblical blueprint. John four 24 says, “God is spirit. And those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” So speaking truth about this and just kind of myself feeling stuck at times, the enemy will say that I’m an imposter because I didn’t do it perfectly because I’m not perfect or I’m not making perfect progress for it, but I’m exactly where I need to be in this process of becoming. And so are you. So I invite you to ask the Holy spirit, what you can take action on today that will make a difference. Maybe it’s putting your sneakers on at grabbing your phone and downloading your worship music on Spotify so you can listen in airplane mode while you walk. We don’t need any extra EMS interfering with our connection, right? But with Thanksgiving and praise and worship, and as you walk, ask Holy Spirit for the solution.
And as soon as you get a download in your spirit, write it down in your notes, on your phone, just keep going with this for at least 10, preferably 20 minutes. You’ll probably have an entire page of notes. And if not, that’s okay too. It is what it is, but keep it simple, have zero expectation of what this should look like for you today. And when you get back home or to your car, depending on where you’re walking, dissect what the Holy spirit gave you and start crafting an action plan from the blueprints you were given. Likely, you know, it won’t be a huge undertaking that will become overwhelming to you and take you out before you even get started. It will likely be a few simple things you can easily take action on because he is good and he won’t give you more than you can handle in this moment.
So be faithful with the small. Don’t despise small beginnings. We all have to start somewhere, right? It’s precept upon precept. Things that are easy to do, but also easy not to do. And so that will determine your success, whether you do them or not. So pick one to three things and do them everyday for at least two to three weeks is ideal, but I would start with 10 days. So an example might be, you know, getting in eight glasses of water a day. So if you’re drinking four glasses now, try and do eight. I like to have a big 16 ounce glass of water in my bathroom. I put it in there at night. So that right when I wake up in the morning and I go to the bathroom, I drink that full 16 ounces before I get into the kitchen. And so doing something like that. Maybe that’s where you start with just 16 ounces of water right away, right off the bat in the morning. Okay. But I encourage you to take the small steps that the Holy spirit is prompting and leading you to, to make imperfect progress. So you can get unstuck and move forward on your path today. Thanks for joining me beloved. We’ll see you next time!
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